Gentle Living: We Were Together
We were together
I forget the rest.
Or so goes the quote that has been circulating around the internet. I came across it during a particularly difficult time shortly after my younger child was born and I was struggling to stay afloat with laundry, housework, and keeping a toddler busy. Not to mention making time for my husband and some self-care. We had just spent a Sunday evening at my parent's house, and after a delicious dinner we rifled through an old box of photos from our childhood that my Mom had recently found. My siblings all pulled out their favourites to pass around and laugh at the fashion or the funny faces. Remembering in more detail the moments that existed outside of the split second frame we can hold in our hands.
But I was struggling to hold back tears. Because our childhood was such a happy one, and yet here I see in the background of our old photos - a mess of toys, dishes, laundry piled up, children looking wild from a day spent outside. Surely the things my parents spent the majority of their time worrying about and yet not the things my siblings and I remember at all. It was a tough reminder for me to look at these frozen moments in time, these little toothy smiles, and know that they passed my parents by so quickly and they will pass us by too.
And one day, if we're lucky enough to reminisce with our children, they're not going to talk about the days when the laundry piled up, or whether or not they did "activities" when they were 2 years old. They will remember the silliest moments, the ones filled with connection and love. Later that night my husband and I talked about this realization, shared our best childhood memories, and set some intentions to help me not get lost in the "to-do list" headspace that can take away from my enjoyment of each day.
(It is worth mentioning, we also talked a lot about how we could change the way we were doing things, so that 'jobs' didn't pile up nearly as much and I wouldn't feel overwhelmed. Because there's no amount of ignoring the messes that will make them actually go away. I just needed the reminder that those jobs WILL get done eventually and that being behind doesn't make you a bad parent. Being kind and gentle to ourselves during busy times is absolutely necessary.)
After he went to sleep, I came across that quote and it just felt so perfect, like it could be a mantra for exactly how I want myself and my children to remember this time. Full disclosure though, quotes on the internet always deserve a thorough background check and this one did not disappoint. In this case I have found it be more of a 'modern synopsis' than a direct quote. Here's the original Walt Whitman phrasing that inspired the concept from his poem Once I Pass'd Through a Populous City:
I forget the rest.
Or so goes the quote that has been circulating around the internet. I came across it during a particularly difficult time shortly after my younger child was born and I was struggling to stay afloat with laundry, housework, and keeping a toddler busy. Not to mention making time for my husband and some self-care. We had just spent a Sunday evening at my parent's house, and after a delicious dinner we rifled through an old box of photos from our childhood that my Mom had recently found. My siblings all pulled out their favourites to pass around and laugh at the fashion or the funny faces. Remembering in more detail the moments that existed outside of the split second frame we can hold in our hands.
But I was struggling to hold back tears. Because our childhood was such a happy one, and yet here I see in the background of our old photos - a mess of toys, dishes, laundry piled up, children looking wild from a day spent outside. Surely the things my parents spent the majority of their time worrying about and yet not the things my siblings and I remember at all. It was a tough reminder for me to look at these frozen moments in time, these little toothy smiles, and know that they passed my parents by so quickly and they will pass us by too. And one day, if we're lucky enough to reminisce with our children, they're not going to talk about the days when the laundry piled up, or whether or not they did "activities" when they were 2 years old. They will remember the silliest moments, the ones filled with connection and love. Later that night my husband and I talked about this realization, shared our best childhood memories, and set some intentions to help me not get lost in the "to-do list" headspace that can take away from my enjoyment of each day.
(It is worth mentioning, we also talked a lot about how we could change the way we were doing things, so that 'jobs' didn't pile up nearly as much and I wouldn't feel overwhelmed. Because there's no amount of ignoring the messes that will make them actually go away. I just needed the reminder that those jobs WILL get done eventually and that being behind doesn't make you a bad parent. Being kind and gentle to ourselves during busy times is absolutely necessary.)
After he went to sleep, I came across that quote and it just felt so perfect, like it could be a mantra for exactly how I want myself and my children to remember this time. Full disclosure though, quotes on the internet always deserve a thorough background check and this one did not disappoint. In this case I have found it be more of a 'modern synopsis' than a direct quote. Here's the original Walt Whitman phrasing that inspired the concept from his poem Once I Pass'd Through a Populous City:
"we were together—all else has long
been forgotten by me,"
The poem is all about his brief stop in a bustling city and the beautiful woman he met there. Needless to say, they enjoyed each other's company and he forgets the rest! I laughed so hard when I read this, such a sharp contrast to how melancholy and reflective I'd been moments before. In the end, it was still exactly what I needed to hear.
Nicole xx
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